limerance - an involuntary mental state of being madly in love or intensely infatuated when reciprocation of the feeling is uncertain. This state is characterized by intrusive thoughts and idealization of the loved one , differing from healthy love because it thrives on uncertainty rather than emotional security.
it sure does sound more serious and scary when i write it down lol
sometimes it gets really really really annoying, even though i like seeing him randomly in uni and my heart makes a legit,quick jump. and i don’t even try to interact with him lol.
i tried very hard to find out what it is exactly about him that got me sooooo hooked, but honestly, everything i came up with didn’t hold up that strong after a 10 minute deep-thought session. i think i like the idea of him, but not enough to make me want to like HIM if that makes sense. its like i woke up one day and decided “great i shall think about this person for the next 8 months for no damn reason”
i know i’d find it veryyyy exhausting to even be his friend. why the hell do i have to make this hard for myself then, i have no idea. perhaps actually doing some talking would get my head out of the sand heap i stuck it in, but that’s a bit hard to do when the first thing i do when i find him near me is to flee the scene. see man? → evacuate area asap.
god i hope i get blown in the face by a feet-knocking wind filled with rational thoughts and sense so that i can weed out these stupid, baseless, senseless feelings that i cant even name, i didnt sign up for this arghhhh xnalsjnx